Drub
Drakvonir Umaenil Brocutis III, or Drub as he is most commonly referred to, is currently a severely disabled man living within The Darkwood. Drakvonir: Father of Spikes Drub’s past is largely shrouded in mystery, but what is clear is that he was not originally a human man. Drub hails from the same mysterious world from which The King rose to power. Drub, known then as “Drakvonir, Father of Spikes,” commanded the largest and most powerful of The King’s loyal death cults, offering up sacrifice after sacrifice for his wicked experimentation. Drakvonir's power was second only to the royal couple, to whom he had pledged his eternal service to, in life and in death. For millennia, Drub assisted the royal death cult with terrible and wicked acts, feeding the power of the King and Queen. There was never a moment that Drub regretted his actions, and reveled in the torture and killing. The Great Deception Queen Richard’s relationship with Drub was symbiotic, as his disabilities include two glass eyes and a total lack of hands. Richard fulfilled rudimentary grasping and clutching motions, while Drub provided critical locomotion for the both of them. The two men would go on to have a beautiful friendship until a jealous Bruce VanLouen, high on Polverra Rossa and also inexplicably a large amount of the fictional drug “nuke,” from the movie Robocop, raided Richard’s bunker and demanded he and Drub part company. Drub flew into a rage and began ripping apart waves of Bruce’s simpleton offspring which he had brought along in a number of white vans. Bruce eventually used all six of the black powder revolvers he is armed with at all times to disable Drub long enough to crucify him and slather his forearm-sized genitals with bee’s honey and a vial of Cambodian fire ants. Drub would eventually escape of his own will and come to rescue Bruce after the 2016 Dipe & Trike massacre, after which he was promptly recrucified. Drub was present during The Queen’s betrayal, and subsequently stood beside The King during “The Seven Days of Rage,” in which The King devoured all life on his home world in a fit of unbridled anger over the course of only seven days. The King was thankful for Drub’s loyalty, especially after his Queen had apparently turned her back on him, and allowed him to live.' Drub was terrified at the prospect of his eventual confrontation with The King, and decided that he would become powerful enough to fight him when the time came. Drub was an adept necromancer, but as he traversed The Myriad Realms, attempting to build up his power he found that his fear of The King was a force greater than his will could handle. Drub suffered countless defeats at the hands of other cosmic entities until his own power was almost completely eroded.' Drub eventually drifted into reality and, defeated and dejected, took refuge within a nearby nebula. He was shocked to find that he had stumbled upon one of Mograhm’s ancient poop gardens, structures designed to filter Bog waste into arable soil upon which grew wild gardens of incomparable beauty. Drub was transfixed for eons by the transcendent splendor of this ancient and magical place.' Drub explored this garden for years, roaming the enumerable terraces brimming with flowering plants from countless worlds. He soon found that even the endless majesty of this wonderful place was beginning to wane; the stream of waste flowing from The Bog had ceased. Drub came to the realization that there must be balance in all things, even this garden could not persist without a torrent of feces to blossom from. Drub decided that if he was going to face The King, he would not do it with with anger or violence, but find some other way to create balance and peace instead.' Drub followed the celestial plumbing through wormholes and along the accretion disks of event horizons until he finally came upon The Bog. Drub was familiar with this place, it was the source of all magical power after all, however he had never drifted so close to it for fear of its corrupting atmosphere. Drub passed into The Bog and found himself on earth in the year 1956, in the infamous Darkwood. Drub was well aware that The Darkwood was one of the most active Areas of Influence, and considered this turn of events to be a sign.''' Drub funneled his remaining power into a form to match the beings around him, and decided that he would integrate with the society beyond The Darkwood. Drub spent many years with humankind, he learned about religion and ethics, studied music and art, experienced love and compassion, soon his time as a servant of evil was a distant memory. Drub was consistently surprised that there existed a society so far removed from the disturbing corruption of The Bog and its magics. Drub’s path would eventually cross with Bruce VanLouen, who promptly took advantage of his trusting nature and encouraged him to give Bruce all the money in Drub’s name and submit to surgical experimentation. At the time, Bruce had been spending weeks getting high on diesel fumes and reading the first page of every Hardy Boys book over and over. He eventually came to the conclusion that there was a plot to assassinate him in the works, and Drub would be his killer. In retribution, Bruce surgically removed Drub’s eyes and both hands in a psychotic rage and dumped him in an alleyway. Category:People Category:Intelligent Entities Category:Unfinished Articles